There isn't one right answer. How often you hear from your lawyer depends on the kind of matter, what stage it's in, and what you agreed at the start. Some stretches are genuinely quiet: waiting on a court date, on the other side, or on a document. Others should be busy. The useful move is to agree on a rhythm rather than guess at one.
Early on, ask: "How often should I expect to hear from you, and how do you prefer I reach you?" Some lawyers update on a schedule, some only when something changes. Either can be fine if you both know which it is.
Keep a dated record of every contact. After a few weeks you'll see the matter's normal pace, and you'll know whether a quiet stretch is ordinary or unusually long for your case, rather than comparing it to someone else's.
Ask what you're waiting on and roughly when it might happen. "We're waiting for the other side's response, usually a few weeks" turns silence into an expected wait, with a date you can check back on.
If the agreed rhythm passes without word, a short message is reasonable: the date you last heard, what you understood was next, and one question. Keep it friendly; most delays are workload, not neglect.
If you repeatedly can't get a reply, ask for a short call specifically about communication. Expectations for how lawyers keep clients informed vary by state; your state bar's website explains them. This page is not legal advice.
Copy it, fill in the brackets, and send or print it.
Hi [Name], So I know what to expect: how often should I plan to hear from you while [matter] is in this stage, and is email or phone better for questions? Right now I understand we're waiting on [what]. Roughly when might that happen? Thanks, [Your name]
Wherewithal is an organizational tool only. Not legal advice. Consider consulting a licensed attorney.